Esther Perel: Mating in Captivity, 20 Years Later

Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel is widely considered one of the world’s most insightful and original voices on erotic intelligence. With her first book, Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, Perel changed how we talk about love, intimacy, and desire, asking:

• Why does good sex fade even in couples who continue to love each other?
• Why doesn’t good intimacy guarantee good sex?
• Can we want what we already have?
• Why does sex make babies and babies spell erotic disaster in couples?
• Why is the forbidden so erotic?
• And ultimately, how do we manage the tension between domesticity and desire?

On the 20th anniversary of Mating in Captivity, Perel brings these questions to The Temple Emanu-El Streicker Center stage, reflecting on two decades of cultural change that have further challenged intimacy and desire. We once asked whether desire could survive children, marriage and the growing demands of modern coupledom. Today, the question is whether it can survive our frictionless technologies and our increasingly disembodied lives.

More than a retrospective, this conversation revisits a book that has become a cultural touchstone, offering a multicultural framework for how couples might cultivate aliveness, curiosity and erotic vitality amid growing disconnection.

About Esther Perel

Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City, serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies and is an advisor to both Hinge and Culture Amp on the intricacies of human connection. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered 50 million views, and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Perel is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin?, which has captivated millions of listeners around the world for nearly a decade. Learn more about her live events, games, and other projects designed to improve your relationships at EstherPerel.com.